"The Take" Took Away Ninety-Two Minutes of My Life

The Take (2016)

The Take is an action movie which was nearly titled Bastille Day, but I'm glad it wasn't because that would have been a very difficult title to turn into a pun about how terrible this film was. While I wish I could say it started with promise, that was hardly the case. This film opens with the classic white text in the bottom left-hand corner of the screen describing the current location of the film; in this case, it's Paris (which raises the question: why not simply show a shot of the Eiffel tower and allow your audience to connect the dots?).

The plot is confusing, I'll admit, but I will try to explain it to you as simply as possible. Idris Elba plays a rude and sarcastic cop who seems to be stuck in the whole "good cop, bad cop" routine, but is yet to find a good cop in order to round him out a bit more. He's completely unlikable throughout the majority of the movie, and the film makes no effort at providing any depth or background to him as it progresses, the audience never earns the moment of satisfaction when they learn what has made Elba's character so uptight and cruel to others, instead they're just left relieved that he has enough of a moral compass to stay on the right side of the law. But I digress; Idris Elba's character finds himself involved in a massive scheme to protect two (somewhat) innocent people who have been framed for a bomb which killed four bystanders, and he inevitably unravels a much larger political scheme behind the bomb being planted.

If I had to describe The Take in one word, it would be generic. Imagine the most recent Die Hard release, but without a character as well-known as John McClane, with more confusing jump-cuts, a camera which shakes so badly that you have no idea what it is you're looking at, and a convoluted political plot involving terrorists and backstabbing government officials who have come up with a scheme which relied so heavily on chance that it's a wonder they made it as far as they did in the first place.

In essence, The Take is a stock action movie. It is comprised of nearly every cliche imaginable, with the frequent text in the corner reminding us of the film's location, the constant stock overhead shots of the city skyline, the overly witty protagonist who is actually just a complete jerk who would be absolutely loathed by his coworkers (Idris Elba has never been more unlikable), the ugly slightly blue filter which makes every color appear bland and washed out, and the plain cinematography which serves no purpose other than to show the audience what they need to see in order to follow the plot. Of course, all of these things could be at least mildly forgiven if the film's acting was better, but that is hardly the case. There were scenes in this film where the delivery of lines was so bad I physically winced, and the writing hardly makes it any better, since I imagine it's difficult to deliver lines as campy as a man randomly telling a girl "you could do better than me" like he's another angst-ridden vampire backing away from a potential victim.

Some more minor complaints I have with the movie include Idris Elba's character driving in between two lanes in one shot (when he's meant to be inconspicuous), the fact that essentially every French man in the movie is ridiculously evil (the man Elba finds himself protecting is American), and a soundtrack which is so forgettable the film may as well have not had one at all.

In short, The Take is a waste of time and money, serving as action filler for audiences who don't have any big budget Marvel movies left to see. If you thoroughly enjoy every action movie you see, and have a soft spot for campy over the top action films with confusing plots and absolutely no character development, then this is the movie for you, but if that's not your cup of tea, then save your money and see something else instead.