The Three Worst Holiday Movies

The holidays season has the tendency to be very profitable in the eyes of the film industry, due to the fact that any film centering around Christmas in some way has potential to be watched time and time again by at least a small audience. Of course, just like any genre of film which has a large group of people aiming to pander to potential fans, there are bound to be plenty of movies which fall flat.

1. How the Grinch Stole Christmas

How the Grinch Stole Christmas (2000)

The Jim Carrey rendition of How the Grinch Stole Christmas is perhaps the nastiest, ugliest, and cruelest of any holiday movie. While Jim Carrey is able to move about freely in his costume and is capable of being animated enough to let the ridiculous prosthetics and fake green fur work to his advantage, his performance is hardly enough to save this train wreck of a film. How the Grinch Stole Christmas is based on a popular children's story by Dr. Seuss, so naturally when lifting the story from the pages of the original book the writer had to include jokes as wonderful as the Grinch being the product of a key party, an absolutely monstrous glimpse at what the Grinch looked like as a baby, and the green monstrosity chasing and horrifying a small innocent child.

This production of the Grinch is hideous on every level. Its message of love and kindness is lost on the fact that every character is cruel and terrible, and whatever heart it may have had within its script is completely obliterated by strangely repulsive and sexual jokes scattered throughout this film which still attempts to advertise itself as something intended for the entire family to enjoy. How the Grinch Stole Christmas is a vapid, ugly, and shallow film, which makes little attempt at hiding the fact that it's little more than a studio attempting to profit from a popular children's story.

2. The Santa Clause 3: The Escape Clause

The Santa Clause 3: The Escape Clause (2006)

The first two films in the Santa Clause series were heartwarming and genuine stories about a man's struggle with becoming jolly old Saint Nicholas himself. The first one was the story of his transformation into the classic symbol of Christmas, and the second one was the tale of him struggling to find true love so that he can have the Mrs. Claus that he needs. Both are genuine and heartwarming tales with light humor scattered throughout and strong moral messages regarding the meaning of Christmas.

So, naturally, the third film in this heartwarming series felt the need to depict Santa Claus having marital problems. In some bizarre twist of terrible screenwriting, a great deal of The Santa Clause 3: The Escape Clause focuses on Santa having to deal with his in-laws while Jack Frost attempts to construct a replacement of Saint Nick while the real thing is otherwise occupied. The film is a shameless cash grab which lacks the heart of the original two, and it also succeeds in being terribly awkward because of the fact that it's a film intended for children which slips dangerously into a Meet the Parents set-up with plot-lines involving divorce and hideous Santa Claus replacements which no child should ever have to look at.

3. Jingle All the Way

Jingle All the Way (1996)

In what is perhaps the most unfunny and blatant display of the twisted monster that American consumerism has transformed Christmas into, Arnold Schwarzenegger stars as an unsettling and completely unbelievable loving father who is attempting to purchase the last of an action figure for his son. When the action figure is sold out in nearly every store and he meets another father who desperately wants the same toy, terrible unfunny slapstick comedy ensues, and the audience is left wondering why one of these children deserves a piece of plastic more than the other. Jingle All the Way is loud, unfunny, obnoxious, and attempts to pretend it has heart when it so obviously lacks anything remotely resembling a heart. For all the heartwarming tales of generosity and giving to those in need during this holiday season, we can count on another horrendous slapstick comedy attempting to profit off of letting people lack at their own unrepentant greed and selfishness.